From this Moment On
by rightxhere
Summary: Rachel/Joey All the love he felt for her hadn’t suddenly vanished. It didn’t, and wouldn’t, because he was still in love with her.


**Title: **From this Moment On  
**Author:** Demelza  
**Fandom:** Friends  
**Disclaimer:** Friends and its characters belong to Warner Brothers and all their other respective owners. No infringements of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission purely as a means of entertainment.  
**Spoilers:** The One With Ross' Tan  
**Rating: **O13  
**Warnings: ** None  
**Word Count:** 1,247  
**Summary:** [Rachel/Joey All the love he felt for her hadn't suddenly vanished. It didn't, and wouldn't, because _he was_ _still in love with her_.

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Having laid awake in bed for close on three hours, Joey now stood in the kitchen before the open refrigerator door. His bare legs and arms cold from wearing only his boxers and a muscle shirt, he closed the door and turned away. The apartment was dark, and as he stepped towards the end of the counter he found himself stopping in his steps.

His gaze fell to the sofa and he sidestepped to his right, where he sat heavily atop the barstool. It was only now that all realization of what had taken place those few hours ago began to come at him full throttle.

Though they hadn't said the actual words to end what had barely begun between them, everything he'd dreamed of having with Rachel had slipped out of his grasp.

"_What is _the matter _with us?"_

"_Well, I know what's the matter with me."_

"_No. I mean with us. You know? I mean...is it supposed to be this..." She'd paused, played with her hair, as he looked sidelong at her. "...difficult?"_

His answer to her had been, 'I don't know'.

Now, though, a breath caught in his throat. He felt torn between admitting maybe they were only ever meant to be friends, to feeling like the best thing he had going in his life had been unfairly taken from him.

"_I don't get it. I mean, I was _so sure _this was what I wanted."_

She _was_ what he wanted. All the love he felt for her hadn't suddenly vanished.

It didn't, and wouldn't, because _he was_ _still in love with her_.

Sighing, his chest heavy, Joey rose to his feet.

All of a sudden, the door to Rachel's room opened and she appeared in the doorway. Leaning against the arch with a scarcely audible sigh, she stared at the sofa.

He watched her for a moment. Watched as she played with her hair, just as she had done the night past.

Her hand momentarily fell to her chest then, before going to her stomach, and he noticed she was wearing his favorite New York Giants t-shirt. He smiled, thinking about how he had always thought she looked good in red.

It was almost as if she had heard his thoughts, because in the limited light he could see her smiling too.

"_I love ya."_

"_Love you too."_

Smile fading from his face, he found himself sighing aloud.

"Joe?" Rachel quickly asked, and he could hear the hint of panic in her voice.

"H-hey," he breathed, a little startled himself.

She stared right at him. "What are you doing in the dark?"

Swallowing, Joey ran his fingers through his hair. "Nothin'. I was just getting somethin' to drink when I..."

He didn't finish.

She stepped away from the arch, slowly stepped into the lounge as he did. "How... how are your..._misters_?"

There was a pause, when he replied with a smile. "All good."

"Good. I'm...I'm sorry again. I was so worried I'd..."

"Ah, don't worry about that, Rach. We Tribbiani's are pretty strong," he playfully grinned.

She just smiled.

Staring at one another for a long few moments, they both took a step forward.

"Listen...Joe..."

"...Rachel..."

She smiled, and he returned hers with a warm one of his own.

"You go first," she said.

"Nah, you go ahead..."

She paused, pursing her lips sweetly for a moment. "Are you sure?"

"I'd just say something..._stupid_," he said with a shrug.

"No. You wouldn't."

He smiled. "Thanks for saying so."

"You're a smart guy, Joe."

He huffed, the words 'in my own stupid way' going through his mind. "If I was so smart, Rach. Then me and you..."

His words caused her breath to visibly catch. "Me and you...?" she asked, gently.

"It..." Joey took a step toward her, paused to catch his breath at the realization there were only a few steps distance between them now. "It would have been better. More...right."

He saw her bite her lower lip. Watched as unshed tears shimmered in her eyes as she gently shook her head. "It's not just you, Joe. Things got all..." Taking in a breath and holding it, she sighed softly. "Because of us both."

Still so sure it was his fault, and his alone, he took a step toward her. "Maybe if I hadn't..."

She matched his step with one of her own, her chest beginning to rise and fall quickly. "The timing..."

They were only two steps away now. Two steps away from being back where they'd began. Joey's heart raced at the thought. Raced because he feared he'd lose it again.

"We're..." he began.

"...good friends..." they both said.

Hearing the words on his own lips, _and hers_, Joey sighed heavily. "God, this is so damn unfair."

"I know, Sweetie," Rachel said, closing the gap between them and placing her left hand on his chest. "It is."

Hesitantly, he placed both hands on her hips. "I've dreamt about this...about us, for so long...and now...I can't just...I can't..."

"...Throw it away?" she asked, gazing up at him.

He nodded gently. "I know it sounds selfish..."

"It doesn't."

Like a beat, his breath caught and he parted his lips to ask, "Doesn't it?" breathlessly.

Shaking her head, she whispered, "Not to me."

Standing silent for a moment that felt like it was far too long, Joey drew Rachel a little closer to him. "What are we meant to do, Rachel?" he asked sadly, his voice soft, unsure.

"Honestly...?" She searched his eyes. "I'm not sure."

Saddened, he cast his gaze downward.

"But one thing I do know..." She lightly bit her lower lip in thought. "I don't want to just...shut off all these..." A pause and she closed her eyes as she leaned her forehead against his chest. Sighing softly, she whispered, "...these _incredible _feelings I feel inside of me."

Moving his hands slowly up her back, he murmured, "I don't either."

Joey could feel the warmth of her body coursing through him. Could feel her every slow, even breath against his skin. His eyes drifted shut and he pressed a slow, tender kiss to the top of her head.

They stood there like that for the longest while, when Rachel moved and he soon felt her lips as they brushed against his chest. Opening his eyes slowly, he felt her lips leaving another kiss. "...Rach...?"

Saying nothing, she moved from his chest to his collarbone, where her kisses grew deeper, sending a radiance of warmth from the spot out to his arms and legs.

"Rach..." His murmur faint, Joey's eyes drifted shut again.

She kissed his neck.

"I've never..."

She moved to his throat.

"...felt..."

His chin.

"...this..."

She kissed the side of his mouth, _teasingly_.

"...wa-_ay_..."

Slowly and deeply, she pressed her lips to his in the sweetest kiss. He circled his arms around her, pulling her ever closer to him. Her lips were soft, her kisses deep, and he prayed they'd never end.

When, "I haven't either," she finally murmured. Their lips had parted and he opened his eyes to hers. "We don't have to do this, Joe..."

"No. I want to. I mean...if it's what you want..."

"It is," she whispered, a lone tear rolling down her right cheek. "I love you, Joe. And, I want you. I want this...I want us."

"Me too," he said, sounding a touch more excited than he'd intended to.

It made Rachel smile, and Joey craned his neck, capturing her mouth with his.


End file.
